


but still he stays

by scagnetism



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, a little fluff at the end?, angsty, i have no idea what i'm saying lol, idk this is my first one direction fic?, it kinda goes with 'canon' but it's slightly au, so there's that, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1315426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scagnetism/pseuds/scagnetism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you realize you like things better without me?”</p>
<p>Harry sighs because he isn’t ready for this conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but still he stays

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first One Direction fic ever. I write a lot, but I've never ventured into this fandom before. Over the past few months, I have read ridiculous amounts of Harry/Louis fic, so I figured I'd try a hand at it. And my friend told me that I should write it...and here I am.
> 
> I hope it's alright. :)
> 
> Title a slightly altered line from The Script's "Walk Away."

Harry knows he was wrong.

He knows – now, anyway – that he was the wrong one and that now the situation has gone farther than it ever should’ve. He’s in a nice little condo in LA for a few more weeks until tour rehearsals start, and it’s killing him. He hasn’t spoken to Louis since the BRITs.

_“So glad we’re here, love,” Louis says to him as they get ready, laughing and smiling, falling back into old patterns like fighting each other for the bathroom mirror despite the fact that Louis has two more bathrooms in his house. They’ve never really understood the concept of personal space._

_“Glad to be here,” Harry whispers, planting a kiss in Louis’ hair, giggling when he looks offended and grumbles as he picks up his comb to fix the spot that was messed._

_It’s easy and free, and even though they haven’t been spending a lot of time together recently, they’re still stealing kisses and it’s like they’ve never been apart, like LouisandHarry hasn’t been on hiatus for a few weeks while they did their own separate things. The time apart was good – they both missed each other more than they’d like to admit and seeing each other again just reignited sparks._

_The night couldn’t be more perfect. They’re starry eyed and hazy after the endless flow of alcohol at their table, but they couldn’t be happier – it’s shared grins and tiny brushes of fingers against each other._

_As the BRITs come to a close and their whirlwind evening slowly fades into the wee hours of the morning, Louis grabs Harry’s hand in a moment of privacy. “Back to mine?”_

_Harry averts his gaze to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably before shaking his head._

_“Why not? Have we been apart so long I have to wine and dine you all over again? We’ve got all the time in the world. I can start tonight.” A sly grin takes over Louis’ face, making his features look sharper than they have all night._

_Harry takes in a long breath before he can bring himself to say anything. “I’m going to LA tomorrow, Lou.”_

_He drops Harry’s hand. “You’re what? You’ve only been back for…” He trails off. “You didn’t tell me.”_

_“Yeah, I know, but, like, I just. I really like it there.” Harry chews on his thumbnail. “I didn’t know how.”_

_“You know I’d never stop you, but I really thought we could spend some time together.”_

_“I know, but. It’s just.”_

_“Did you realize you like things better without me?”_

_Harry sighs because he isn’t ready for this conversation. A lump forms in the back of his throat at the thought of living a life without Louis. “You know I don’t wanna be without you, Lou, but we never had time to miss each other before, and I don’t know. It’s okay to be apart sometimes, yeah? Distance can be good.”_

_“Of course it is,” Louis replies. “But I just thought you’d want to spend time with me, since we haven’t seen each other in a bit, y’know.”_

_“It’s not that I don’t…”_

_“Go back to LA,” he says. He doesn’t sound mad – just disappointed. That’s the thing with Louis. He does get angry, but when he loses all his fire and deflates, loses all the things that make him Louis, that’s when it’s scary. “It’s fine. I’ll still be here when you get back. I’ve got that footy game, anyway. Thought you’d be around for that.”_

_Harry feels the air rush out of his lungs._ Shit. _He’d forgotten about that. He looks at him silently for a few more seconds. “Do you wanna come, too? I’m sure we could, like, get you on the flight or something. You could stay until the game.”_

_Harry can almost see the anger rising in Louis’ body – he immediately becomes tense and his hands ball into fists at his sides. “You’re asking me now?” he asks, and Harry doesn’t even want to look at him. “Am I a fucking afterthought? It didn’t occur to you to ask me before now? Do what you have to do, Styles, but you’re asking me a few hours before you get on a plane to go halfway ‘cross the world if I want to come?”_

_“It’s not like that, and you know it.”_

_He steps back, trying not to raise his voice. “But you’re treating me like I’m the second fucking choice, and if I’m the second fucking choice, then what’s the point? Is it really worth it, then? It’s not worth it.”_

_Harry grabs his wrist lightly, pulling him back slightly. “You’re not the second choice. You’ve never been, and you’ll always be my first, but, like…”_

_“You can’t even give me a good reason for leaving this time,” Louis tells him. “So just fuck off, okay?” He starts to leave._

_“Louis,” Harry says, pinching the bridge of his nose, and he doesn’t have an argument to make. He’s got nothing. There are a million thoughts swirling in his mind, but he knows not a single one is good enough to convince him to go with him._

_Louis turns with a raised eyebrow, like he’s waiting for Harry to say something, anything._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_He walks away leaving Harry in his tracks._

It’s been a few weeks, and he still hasn’t talked to Louis. Harry knows he should’ve called, should’ve texted, should’ve done _something_ to reach out, but he didn’t know how. There’s never been a time one didn’t understand exactly what the other was thinking, and it’s scary to him. When he first met him, Harry thought of Louis as quicksand – pulling him under so quickly and he couldn’t register everything that was happening, but as the years passed, he saw him more like solid ground. The one constant. The one thing that brought him back to earth even though he had a tendency to end up in outer space.

Harry has no constant now. He has nothing to stop him from spinning into a far off galaxy. He only has a stupid, empty condo, and a phone that never lights up with Louis’ name. He’s pretty sure he fucked up beyond repair. The call needed to be made a few hours after it all happened, not a few weeks.

He’s worried the next time he faces Louis – at this point, when rehearsals start – he won’t even look at him.

Harry’s drowning in his thoughts when the doorbell rings. He gets up to answer it in almost a stupor, wondering who the hell it could possibly be. When he opens the door, he doesn’t have time to even think before his arms are filled with a small boy with a mass of long, brown hair. “Lou?” Harry chokes out, happily accepting the gesture as he slips his arms around Louis’ tiny frame.

Louis looks up at him – is that a headband he’s wearing? – and his eyes are so blue, bluer than Harry even remembered. “Missed you, Haz.”

“I missed you, too,” Harry replies, still not willing to let go. “Why are you here? Not that I’m complaining. I was a proper dick.”

“You were an arse,” Louis agrees, face buried in Harry’s shoulder. “But you’re my arse.” He threads his fingers through Harry’s curls. “Actually call me the next time you go off.  Almost filed a missing person report.”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to hear from me ever again,” he admits sheepishly.

Louis finally pulls away with a grin on his face. “You know me better than that.”

“I’m just so glad you’re here.”

“Nice place you’ve got here,” Louis says, dropping his bag in the corner of the living room. “Where’s the bedroom, though? We’ve got some lost time to make up for.”

Harry just smiles and grabs his hand.


End file.
